Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
