found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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