Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
It's Friday. Sex?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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