Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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