Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
