You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
