Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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