There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the condom got lost in my hair
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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