it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Come see our sink grown plant.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
