Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
