too bad you live with your parents still
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
