so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize