After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
