I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
