Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
