he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
