i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
