your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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