just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i love accidental penises.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Randomize
