Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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