what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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