sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
