You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Randomize