K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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