Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize