worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
