I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
