he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just invented taco cereal.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
