i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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