so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
