Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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