Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
