Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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