where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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