are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
