She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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