there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
