If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
