dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
