someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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