We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
