Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Also, beer. Big fan.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
