I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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