that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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