So drunk its hurt
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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