She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
