i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
