Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.

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(206): View more from Washington

She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.

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(641): View more from Iowa

So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?

(563): View more from Iowa

1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World

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(407): View more from Florida

Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?

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(651): View more from Minnesota

We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.

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(630): View more from Illinois

He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars

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(865): View more from Tennessee

he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?

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