I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
