You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
