if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
