someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
