So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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