Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
