Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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