Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
