Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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