Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
