I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Ladies don't puke and tell
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
