i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
