There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
