zippers are such a cool invention
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
